Molson Canadian 'Rant' Parody

If you want to view poradies of 'The Rant', click one of the below, other wise, scroll down.

I Am Canadian

I am not a hacker or terrorist

I do not like Céline Dion or Shania Twain but I am glad they are getting rich.

I do know Richy and Sally from Canada, but they aren't nice as you think.

I am ruled by a rich white Prime Minister not a rich white President.

I don't know French but I can converse fluently in American...

...and I pronounce it A BOOT not a big shoe.

I can proudly sow my flag on my backpack, because even though no one realizes that we are just as guilty Everyone else for the fate of the 3rd world every one blames America.

when I am at home I realize I have better not protest deforestation or sexist dictators without risking a face full of pepper spray and a criminal record.

I believe in peacekeeping, even if it means killing some molly teenagers for fun

I believe in turning back boat loads of Chinese immigrants, a failing health care system, and late night cable porn disguised as art, and that the beaver is a truly proud and a beautiful part of the female body.

I believe the French should whine about anything, and the English should apologize.

...And that is pronounced zed not zee: ZED! That is how the queen told us how to pronounce it.

Canada is the second largest land mass in the world,

the second nation in hockey,

and the best part of the northern 3rd of America!

MY NAME IS JOE,

AND UNTIL WE ARE ADDED BY THE STATES,

I AM CANADIAN

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